Northern Leagues United Pen Pics #10

Don’t let the waist-high tackle fool you: when he’s not trying to replicate this in radio station corridors and parks throughout the north of England, Leeds fan Joel Goldman is a mild-mannered Deputy News Editor at Metro Radio. Recently nominated for a 2011 Sony Radio Award, Joel’s also on twitter here.

Position(s): Left wing back/ winger, then a simple left back when my pace burns out after 5 minutes. Out and out striker when up against it.

Teams played for: The Rolling Stoners Goals in Leeds (we were 5-a-side Div.1 Champions), Metro Radio Allstars 5/7/11-a-side and the Nationals/Broadcast Alliance

Career highlight: getting to the final of a 5-a-side tournament with the biggest hangover I can almost remember, and scoring the winning penalty to get us there; twice playing on the St James’ Park pitch; winning the top division of a 5-a-side league in Leeds.

Player or team you’ve modelled your game on: a cross between Tony Dorigo, Tony Yeboah and Tony Soprano. Tough tackling like my beloved Leeds United, with a never say die attitude to boot. Physically I’m a modern day Neville Southall.

Also in the football writers’ squad is Andy Hudson, whose Guardian recommended Gannin’ Away blog recounts his Quixotic travels around the football grounds of Europe (recently with noticeably fewer pies).

Positions: Goalkeeper, Full Back, Centre Back, Winger, Midfielder, Trequartista. I’m easy: no standards; no shame.

Teams played for: Far too many Sunday League teams to mention – usually leave after five games due to problematic Sunday morning hangovers.

Career highlight: Editing myself into the Darlington team out of boredom while playing Football Manager. I had top marks as a 17 year old and ultimately caused the game to crash. I was also the goalkeeper for the regional schools team where I kept Steve Simonsen (later of Tranmere, Everton, Stoke and Sheffield United) out of the side (true), but alas I didn’t have top marks in every category.

Player or team you’ve modelled your game on: The footballing brain of Fumaca; the looks of Jon Parkin.

Just in case you thought those ball skills were a fluke, here’s Andy showing off his moves as a youthful right winger for the all-conquering Jarrow Vikings FC (after missing with his shot he chased the bemused keeper with a two-handled axe before setting the goalmouth on fire and making off with his bike), where he played alongside Whitley Bay’s Paul Chow. As well as contributing to a training diary ahead of the 9th, he’s also on twitter here.

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